i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
