So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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