Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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