my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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