And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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