whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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