OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
