I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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