Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize