And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
