fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
