Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
