covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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