i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
