hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
