i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
