see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
