just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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