i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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