you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
