Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
my sisters under your porch take her home
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
