I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
