"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
