she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
