I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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