Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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