why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
did you just send me my own nude
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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