and you said cock pushups were impossible
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
