I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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