she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
