I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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