I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
