escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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