She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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