I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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