Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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