I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
