We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
