He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
