she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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