why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
