i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
