Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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