Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
