I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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