she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize