I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
