i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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