Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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