if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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