yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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