3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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