Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
