Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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