i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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