What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i drank out of a bidet.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
