Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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