You smell like a Billy Joel song
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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