My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
