Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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