i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize