How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
