apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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