I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
