Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
