So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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