So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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