wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Randomize
