the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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