Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
